Shortcomings
**Warning: grumpy blog post ahead**
Ugh. Do you ever feel like a complete loser at the things most important to you?
I'm just kind of melancholy today, forgive me if it turns infectious.
I like to think of myself as progressive. What I mean by that is I try to identify faults in myself and correct them. Nothing stupid like "Ohhh, I'm so fat. Lookit the lardo in the mirror." or "Augh this hair totally sucks. I'm so not going out, no one should see this freak. Sob." I'm not a 14 year old girl.
I try to improve upon my character, like being more honest, working harder (updating my blog at work notwithstanding) and overcoming the stupid things we do that often times go against our better judgement. I just feel like I'm wallowing in stagnation lately. I keep doing dumb even hurtful things without blinking an eye. Nothing really devastating, I'm not ruining lives or tripping the elderly, but seriously far removed from the kind of person I'm aiming to be. Without going all Barbra Walters, it honestly makes me pretty sad.
But thats the point of life isn't it? Learning from our mistakes and moving forward. It just seems like I can't move forward now, that something's blocking me from doing so.
Ugh. Do you ever feel like a complete loser at the things most important to you?
I'm just kind of melancholy today, forgive me if it turns infectious.
I like to think of myself as progressive. What I mean by that is I try to identify faults in myself and correct them. Nothing stupid like "Ohhh, I'm so fat. Lookit the lardo in the mirror." or "Augh this hair totally sucks. I'm so not going out, no one should see this freak. Sob." I'm not a 14 year old girl.
I try to improve upon my character, like being more honest, working harder (updating my blog at work notwithstanding) and overcoming the stupid things we do that often times go against our better judgement. I just feel like I'm wallowing in stagnation lately. I keep doing dumb even hurtful things without blinking an eye. Nothing really devastating, I'm not ruining lives or tripping the elderly, but seriously far removed from the kind of person I'm aiming to be. Without going all Barbra Walters, it honestly makes me pretty sad.
But thats the point of life isn't it? Learning from our mistakes and moving forward. It just seems like I can't move forward now, that something's blocking me from doing so.
posted by Bray at 9:33 AM
1 Comments:
Braden, I see you struggling so much lately. You take everything to heart. You are very sensitive and that makes you a good artist.. but you will also feel alot of pain in your life because of it. You cannot undo whatever you did.. and I see how guilty you seem to be feeling. I don't know what happened but if there is a way to repair this deed, try and do it. If not, learn from it and move on.
I've have many times and still today been extremely hurt because I'm too sensitive. I wish I had thicker skin. Would make life alot easier.
A friend of mine once told me.. you should be like a good French bread.. all soft inside with a nice thin protective crust on the outside. Good advice.
It is obvious that you are a very good person, or you wouldn't even be worrying at this moment.. take a deep breath.. you will be fine!
((((Braden)))
smiles
Maggie
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